Clip 4: Moment 1a
Michael:
So, that was pretty interesting, Catherine. There was a lot that was happening between the two of you. But you parted pleasantly. So what was wrong with it?
Catherine:
Well, all the time I sensed Jack was just trying to be pleasant but not engaged. And I really wanted to say a few things, and I just didn't now how to say them really. So I just ended up making it pleasant as well.
Michael:
And it started really with his continuing to stand, so that he only had a half-baked conversation with you.
Catherine:
So what was going through my head was I'd really like him to sit down, but I didn't know how to tackle that. And then I noticed that he wasn't looking at me anyway while I was talking, and, yeah, he wasn't engaged.
Allan:
And, interestingly, I wasn't even listening.
Catherine:
Weren't you?
Allan:
No, I just heard words and then agreed with whatever she said.
Michael:
So you were watching your class?
Allan:
Yep.
Michael:
And deliberately watching your class, with only half an ear at best on what Catherine was saying.
Allan:
Yep.
Michael:
Because of the issues that you have got with the whole professional development approach.
Allan:
I guess so, yeah. And obviously this is meant to be a short conversation, because I was standing up.
Michael:
So from your point of view, Catherine, what you are wanting to do is to surface that disconnection and talk about it.
Catherine:
It just seemed to be the whole situation seemed not conducive to me saying “Well, come on, we need to talk about this; and where can we go and do that?’” But I think if I thought it through, there would be a way through it, but I just couldn't think of it at the time. And that’s often the problem – you know what’s going through your head but you don't know how to actually say it in a respectful way, apart from just saying “sit down”.
Michael:
Well, I think there’s a lot of merit in that, because that’s where it seemed to me that you lost it, in one sense.
Catherine:
Yeah, definitely.
Michael:
You said, “Could you sit down?”, or something of the equivalent, and he said, “No”, and you said, “Oh, all right then.” So from that stage on, he was only ever going to be listening with half an ear.
Catherine:
That’s right. And I'm not actually respecting where I'm coming from either – that’s what I thought about afterwards, is … I'm desperately tripping over to respect him, but I'm not actually respecting myself and giving myself a fair go. So, yeah. That was quite a shortened conversation of what actually happened, but that was just the essence of how it all panned out.
Michael:
So why don’t you say something a little bit more assertive to him? Or … you could do, or I could have a go playing you, and see what happens. And he could be Jack, or you could be Jack.
Catherine (to Allan):
Do you want to keep doing Jack and I'll have a go? And then maybe Michael can have a go after that.
Catherine:
So thanks, Jack, that was a great lesson. Have a seat and we'll have a quick chat about it.
Jack:
I’ll just keep standing. I need to keep an eye on my class. They'll play up if I don't keep an eye on them.
Catherine:
Oh, okay. Well, that’s not really going to work in terms of really engaging in a conversation. We've got some pretty important things to talk about. And I sense that if you just stand up, what might happen is you won’t be able to really focus on it. So what we could do is get someone to look after your class, and we can sit at the back of the room, or we could go out to the staffroom – what do you think about that?
Jack:
There’s no one to look after the class; I can't leave them here.
Catherine:
Well, Sarah, I had a quick chat with Sarah before; she said she doesn't mind.
Jack:
Oh, did she? Oh, yeah, okay.
Catherine:
Is that all right?
Jack:
Sure, yep.
//
Catherine:
What do you think about that?
